Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Why Are We Our Own Worst Enemies?

We all struggle with the little defeatist voice in our head... You can't do this! You're not ready for this! You will fail! It is safe here! You won't like her! You will be scared! The never-ending barage of, what I call, Ego, pulls you from accomplishing your goals or leaving your past behind. The Ego wants you to stay where you are! It wants you to be afraid! I never really knew understood the power of the Ego and its irrational protective force until I confronted my past-self during a psychoanalysis session... Truly this was one of the most powerful things I've been through! What it taught me was comfort, and here's what happened...

The therapist asked me to think of a situation where I wasn't kind, or when I upset someone. Unfortunately, this was easy to recall! He asked me to envision being in the situation. I closed my eyes and, at this moment, was in the backseat of my truck. He asked that I tell myself that I was back there and would it be OK if we chatted a bit. Myself agreed. I wanted him to know that I cared about him. He said thanks. I then asked him about why he was upset? He didn't really know, but got a little nervous at the question. I asked him several more questions about what would go wrong if this or that would happen. He couldn't answer me. I said that was fine. The therapist asked me to put my hand on myself's shoulder, and to comfort him. Then we pulled out of the exercise. It was as though I was in a trance and the clarity of the situation was so powerful! I was confronting a self that didn't help me, but that thought it was being helpful. I was able to notice him, and to tell him, "hey, calm down... I'm here to help you." It was my real-self talking to my Ego! Frankly, it was my worst enemy between my ears.

For those of you who think this is silly, I agree. It is! However, I can't tell you how amazing the experience was. How ultimately I hope that I can recognize the deep-seated issues we all have with fear! My hope is that through this training, I can experience a deeper and more open form of love. Think about it, have you confronted a part of yourself that isn't helpful?

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